Rockface

Valentine’s Day – our girls’ guide to doing it properly….

OK boys, it’s Valentine’s Day – no pressure, but you’re expected to rise to the challenge on this one – yikes!  Breaking into a cold sweat at the very thought?

Never fear, here at the Rockface we are here to help.  So here’s some dos and don’ts for that perfect evening, mostly compiled by the female contingent in the Rockface office. 

Flowers

If you’re going down the flowers route, there are certain rules to be observed.  Do not buy red roses, they are mass produced for Valentine’s day and won’t last.  This does not mean, however, that carnations are acceptable either.  And anything that looks like it has come from a garage forecourt will, of course, be flung back in your face with a look of contempt and possibly a snort or two. 

If you’re still going down the flowers route, this is the website you want to visit. Jane Packer  delivers same day in London and overnight for the rest of the UK.  Your girlfriend will be suitably impressed

Underwear

Underwear buying is fraught with danger.  The worst possible scenario would be a ‘Valentine’s gift set’ from a certain adult high st sex shop in shiny red satin (nylon), bought a size too big. Oh dear.

The best case scenario would, of course, be a purchase from Agent Provocateur  - literally anything from this website would delight.  If you’re not sure of the right size, have a rummage in your girlfriend’s knicker drawer and look at the labels boys – if you’re still not sure, buy a size smaller than you think – flattery always works and if you keep the receipt, she can take it back.

Dinner

Do NOT book a table at a restaurant for Valentine’s Day.  They have seen you coming.  Eateries will be cramming twice the normal amount of tables into the room which means a) you’ll be knocking knees with the next table, and b) the kitchen won’t be able to cope which in turn means c) the food will be horrific and you’ll be there for hours.  Then the man with the ‘roses’ will appear.  Just embarrassing.

What do to?

Organise a night in, and before you start shouting ‘I CAN’T COOK’ – yes you can because we’ll make it so very easy.

Firstly champagne – get the good stuff and a few bottles – you’d pay at least £40 a bottle in a restaurant so you can afford it.  Go to wines direct  and check out their deals, and get some decent wine in too.  The more you order the cheaper it gets. Excellent.

What to Eat?

Marks and Sparks food to order is fantastic – order online and collect from your nominated store – a shellfish platter followed by beef wellington served with butternut squash and crème brulee to finish, for example, is the way to any girl’s heart.

Table

If your dining table has seen better days and your table linen is non existent, all you need to do is iron a white sheet and use it as a tablecloth.  Put some nightlights in the middle, turn the lights down and you’re good to go.

Barry White

Most girls probably don’t appreciate old Barry until later in the evening and possibly not even then.  Maybe start with some of her favourite music and take it from there.  She’ll appreciate the effort.

Post Dinner Entertainment

Platoon and Saving Private Ryan probably won’t set the right scene for this evening.  Think Pretty Woman or Love Actually, grit your teeth, crack another bottle of bubbly and watch it without complaining.  You never know where the brownie points may lead you later on..

Happy Valentine’s Day folks!